The bottom line is, I am tired of feeling so dam emotionally confused. I have been diagnosed with Panic Disorder, Anxiety, Depression, Bipolar, Manic Depressive and many others that fit into these categories. It wasn’t long before I realized I was falling in love. I have been dealing with depression for as long as I can remember. Barys showed me his favorite places in Minsk, had me try his favorite foods, and I adopted them as my favorites too, with unquestioning adoration. Over the next three days, we found ourselves on Ferris wheels, pedal boats, and picnic blankets in the park. “Do you want to go on a walk? I can show you the city.” I realized Barys was still talking to me, and I refocused my gaze on his lips. In addition, manic symptoms can be attributed to various other medical conditions. Mania is often symptomatic of a variety of mental health conditions including bipolar disorder and schizoaffective disorder. I already felt his pull on me - a pull stronger than really made sense. If the severity of your symptoms never rises to the level of mania, you have bipolar II disorder. Mania is marked by periods of great excitement, euphoria, delusions, and overactivity. I had just arrived in Belarus for work, and I’d met Barys only a few minutes ago, when he’d introduced himself as the translator for the manager of my accommodations. Many of us with bipolar disorder make terrible decisions when we are ill, and rebuilding our lives afterward is naturally overwhelmingespecially after a massive episode, when extreme mania and psychosis might have put you in the hospital or in jail (or both). His warm brown eyes met mine, and I lost track of the conversation. As Barys and I stood chatting on the sidewalk outside my rental apartment in Minsk, I willed myself not to touch his plaid shirt, sure it was as soft as it looked.
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